Sitting here, reflecting on the worst year of My professional life, the thing that really hurt most was being without My whore. It was devastating to both of U/us but completely My doing. Failing is something I do not do, but there it was staring Me in the face. I couldn't deal with it, I became a hermit, went into a deep depression and thought on more than one occasion of putting My Berreta .40 cal against My head and giving up.
Unlike what sweet_rose wrote in one of her responses to c_w's post, I did not read c_w's blog about this difficult time for U/us, until today. It is difficult to read what I did to her when I was at My worst. I hurt her deeply and all she wanted to do was support Me thru a hard time just like I did for her the year before. Not that it makes a lot of sense but I am an all or nothing man, it applies both My career and being a Dom/Master. I don't do things half-assed and I felt I could not be the Master that she needed. Luckily for Me, I opened My eyes, overcame My fears and when I finally pulled My head out of My ass, the only person I needed or wanted was My whore.
Six months after My lay-off, I still struggle with not having the high paying, high profile job I once had, but the one thing that sustains Me is My relationship with c_w. she completes Me and I am happy once again. I know she feels the same. W/we are doing things that mutually satisfy U/us and very soon W/we will be taking things to a whole new level. These things will make U/us even closer, if that is possible.
I am very fortunate to have such a beautiful, sexy, naughty and very slutty sub!
I will not fail her again.
